The Long Way to Ao Nang (Lemons and Lemonade)

ONE LAST-MINUTE DECISION LEADS TO ANOTHER

It all started when I spontaneously purchased a plane ticket to Myanmar. It was Tuesday evening, and the flight was to leave from Bangkok 48 hours later. That same evening, I bought an overnight bus ticket to Bangkok so I can make it in time for the flight. I was under the impression that Canadians could get visas on arrival at the airport Yangon. To my disappointment, during that same chaotic evening, a friend told me that tourist visas are not granted on arrival. I did some research, only to find out she was right—only business and transit visas can be granted on arrival in Myanmar (with the required documentation and such). I would have to get a visa in Bangkok, and would not likely get it in time for my flight.

And so I found myself with a round trip ticket to a country I would not be able to enter, a bus ticket to Bangkok, and less than a day to figure it all out.

These are lemons, and I really like lemonade.

I decided to switch my flight to a later date ($17 fee for the change…whatever), and resolved to go down to Bangkok anyway to get my visa. Here’s the lemonade: since Bangkok's already halfway down the country, I could easily visit one of those popular southern beach cities. So I decided to go to Krabi/Ao Nang. All I would need to do is spend an additional 12 hours on a bus.

The next day, I boarded my first bus in Chiang Mai, and was immediately impressed. It was really posh-looking “VIP” bus, and the seats looked like they belonged in the business class section of an airplane. I was even more pleased to find that I was seated beside some really awesome American friends I met previously. However, the bus ride was a bit rough. At random intervals, the driver would turn on the super-bright lights (appropriate only for major surgeries), crank Thai music loud enough to make the speakers crackle, and pick up the microphone to yell commands (I think) and irrelevant info with the tone and enthusiasm of an auctioneer. There didn't seem to be a reason for any of this, and it did not matter if it was midnight 2am, 3:30 am etc. The driver would also drop people off on the side of the road along the way (favours for locals perhaps?). As ridiculous as it was, I missed it when it was over.

BANGKOK, BURMESE EMBASSY, AND A VERY INTERESTING BUS STATION

I made it to Bangkok at 7 am, and it was already noticeably hotter than Chiang Mai. Oddly enough, the air was cleaner, as it is currently “burning season” in the north. At this point, in the oppressive city heat, I had to find the Burmese embassy, wait in its infamous lineup, and get out of Bangkok before it starts to hurt my soul. I quickly found the embassy, thanks to excellent public transit and very helpful personnel (even Toronto can learn a thing or two from Bangkok). For those applying for visas, the embassy is open for three hours in the morning for applications and only one hour in the afternoon for visa distribution.  Half an hour before opening in the morning, the embassy already had a massive line up. I made it though pretty quickly, and was told that I was approved and could pick up my passport at 3:30 the same day. 

All I had to do was hang around Bangkok for nearly six hours, in disgustingly hot weather, with a guitar and a large backpack strapped on me. More lemons, I guess, but fortunately I was able to pretend I was staying at a hostel at the other end of the city (somewhere I stayed previously). This allowed me go online to do some research. Long boring hours went by, and then I went back to the embassy.  This time the situation there was a bit more ominous—the lineup was much longer than it was this morning, yet everyone was lined up in the shade across the street; it was just too hot for anyone to stand against the wall during peak sunburn hours and sweat their lives away.  A couple of minutes before 3:30, a cattle-run of visa-hopefuls bombarded the door, and literally pushed their way though once it opened. Fortunately I was near the front of the herd.

Bangkok traffic goes on forever. This is why the death-defying motorbike taxis are so attractive.

Line across the street from the Burmese embassy in Bangkok (20 mins before the race to the door)

My next mission was to get to the southern bus terminal, which is inconveniently located at a far end of the city. A taxi without traffic would take 20-30 minutes, but the traffic in front of me portended a ridiculously long journey. So I decided to do something that everybody who visits Bangkok should do at least once: ride a motorbike taxi. Throughout the city (mostly outside metro stations), there are guys with yellow or pink shirts offering rides around town. They are motorcycle ninjas, and have a reputation of getting people where they need to go quickly by whatever means possible—including using alleys, driving the wrong way on one-way streets, and weaving through highway traffic.  For $9, I took the ride of my life, and made it to the southern airport in 20 minutes with my guitar and backpack still intact. I arrived at the bus station a stinky (but happy) mess of a man.

This is Ed. He nearly killed me, but he also saved a couple of hours of my life

Waiting at bus stations/terminals is awesome. There's just something magical about the experience. But this place was a bit different. As I waited inside the terminal—which is newly built and comfortable by any standard—I couldn't help but notice the prevalence of the infamous Thai "ladyboys." (that or aggressively forward, masculine-looking Thai women have some kind of affinity for this bus station).  Many awkward waves and hellos came in my direction; even a pharmacist was among the ranks. I'm pretty sure most were en route to some of the cities that are known for having high concentrations of both ladyboys and prostitutes (i.e. Pattaya and Phuket), as this is the station that offers busses to those cities.

Oh, and the station's massive washroom had neither toilet paper nor "the hose" (aka bum gun).  There wasn't even a sign or vestige of either. I've said it before, and I'll say it eternally: always pack toilet paper. I'm glad I did, although I can’t help but wonder what other people do in such situations. 

For the second night in a row, my hotel was a bus.  This one was much less comfortable than the first. I figured "first class" was good, and it was 2/3 the price of VIP. However, there wasn't even an option below first class. Perhaps it's just another example of Thai friendless and courtesy: even the “cheap” option is dignified. Despite the relative lack of comfort and space, this bus wasn't so bad. The seats didn't go very far back, but at least I wasn’t being woken up by random Thai music and bright lights at all hours of the night and morning. 

FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF KRABI/AO NANG 

I made it to Krabi, and a short ride from the bus station got me to my hostel in Ao Nang, which is a beautiful resort town near the islands. Krabi (and by extension, Ao Nang) is kind of an in-between place where people go before and after their trips to islands such as Koh Phi Phi. Fortunately I like in-between places.

The weather was somewhere between a sauna and a furnace, so it only made sense to rent a motorbike. I spent my time there riding around with a friend, visiting temples (one of which requires visitors to go up nearly 1300 very steep concrete stairs in the blazing heat), going to beaches, meeting people from all corners of the world, and eating great food—particularly southern Thai and Malaysian dishes.

This is the scenery all around Ao Nang. I just had to pull over and take a picture.

Railay Beach

Across the street from my hostel was a great little restaurant called Jungle Kitchen. At any given time, an amazing woman named Eve was the only person working—both cooking and serving (her husband does the building and maintenance). The first time I went there, she gave me mosquito spray and a big smile, followed by the best panang curry I have ever had in Thailand. After five weeks and dozens of tries, I found it (see my first food post). I licked the plate, and came back twice. I suspect that the south generally has better Panang, as the dish is reputedly from Malaysia, which is nearby. Thanks to the Muslim and Malaysian population, southern Thailand has some other amazing dishes, particularly the mighty massaman curry. This is known to be the best dish on earth, and it’s not difficult to find a good massaman in Krabi.

Sign outside the hostel

This is Eve—the force behind Jungle Kitchen

SOCIAL LIFE IN AO NANG

Being heavily touristic, Ao Nang naturally has a pretty big party scene. I went out for a "walk" with friends one night around 11pm and came back to the hostel around 5am—late enough that roosters were doing their thing by the time I got to sleep. Between those hours we went to several small venues, one of which had an amazing 80s/90s cover band. Many of the other places just seemed like frat parties, which is more or less in keeping with people’s descriptions of both the south and many of the islands.  

As soon as we arrived back at the hostel, the police dropped off one of the guys who was staying at the same place. He fell though the roof of a building up the street, and had no recollection of what happened. He lost his passport and wallet (credit cards and all) and had to somehow pay the damages. The police kept their word and picked up the noticeably scarred and bruised young man the next day to go search for his wallet. Of course, he didn’t find it, but still had to scrape up 2000 baht for damages (about $65).  Surprisingly, the police were not looking to line their own pockets (unless they took the wallet on arrival). Perhaps it was just a geographic anomaly. 

That same day, I woke up before noon to a bar full of empty shot glasses in the hostel’s lobby. Some Danish girls had recently arrived and decided to add some "points" for their country on the hostel’s “shots scoreboard” (yes indeed, a scoreboard, listing countries and shots consumed) . To make this even more extreme, they were drinking something called “inception” since 10:30 am (it's basically a drink within a drink, within a drink). Each drink counted as 2-3 shots.  According to the hostel’s owner/bartender, these recent customers cleared nearly 50 bottles of red bull and 3 bottles of liquor by early afternoon. People were also “icing” each-other (just plain cruel), so of course it was quite the scene. While setting records, the morning partiers were consecutively planning the next day’s visa run. From would I could understand, this was to involve a quick journey into Malaysia. Needless to say, the planning did not go so well.

The lesson, boys and girls, is this: drink responsibly (if at all), otherwise you may find yourself injured and robbed several thousand kilometres from home, or in unreliable company while trying to find a way to legally remain in a country. 

Fortunately, there were less hazardous ways to enjoy Ao Nang, including the aforementioned motorbike treks to temples and such (see my friend's travel blog for his take on the experience). It also paid off to lug my guitar across the country; hostel jams ensued, as they always do. 

Wat Sai Tai (Dragon Temple) in Krabi town

Stairs leading up to Wat Tham Sua (Tiger Cave Temple)

View from the top of Wat Tham Sua (Tiger Cave Temple)

Monkeys love the mountains

One of the most simple, practical, and fun things that virtually anyone can do throughout Thailand is learn and practice some new Thai words and phrases. This can be done through youtube, smartphone apps, or conversations with locals, and there are unlimited opportunities to refine pronunciation. However, while in Ao Nang, I met several people who had been in Thailand for weeks, and had barely learned how to say hello. Most of these people came here to party on the islands and such, and had very little interest in the language and culture. I saw it as a bit disrespectful, but decided to once again make lemonade. I made a serious effort to teach some new friends practical Thai phrases, most notably “awesome,”  “have a good day,” and “this is the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted.” Once a teacher, always a teacher.

There is something called “living on Thai time,” and I experienced this in Ao Nang. Instead of staying two nights, I stayed for three, which required me to sacrifice a VIP bus ticket. I just couldn’t leave. Riding a motorbike on open roads, being surrounded by clean air, and meeting new people were more than enough to keep me there a bit longer. Alas, staying that extra day also meant I had to cancel a hostel in Bangkok and endure two consecutive buses home (totalling 22 hours, with a 1/2 hour break between), but it was worth it. Besides, the hostel owner gave me a discount for staying the extra day.  Lemonade.

Stay tuned...